56 Ways in Which I Love You
by brookeAp3
Summary: There was only one way Robin could show Regina how much he loved her while separated in New York.


A/N: Using prompts #52 Letters and #31 Quiet times near the fireplace for prompt party. There may be a few liberties with canon in this but hopefully it's close enough.

It's months before he works up the courage to give them to her. He's been back in Storybrooke for awhile, having survived the shock of Zelena's betrayal, their journey to Camelot and quest to save Emma from the darkness. Through all of that they had survived, had somehow miraculously found a way to forgive each other, to love each other despite every obstacle in their path. And they are happy now, content in their lives and with one another, in a way that hadn't seemed possible for far too long.

So it's one quiet evening at home, nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary, simply a night spent relaxing in front of the fire with a glass of wine after their sons have settled in their beds for the night and little Robin is asleep in her crib that he passes her the carefully wrapped stack of letters.

Regina takes them, brow furrowed as she stares at them in puzzlement, toying with the red ribbon he's bundled them together with, before her gaze lifts back to his and she asks, "What are these?"

"Letters," Robin replies, biting his bottom lip sheepishly, unnecessary nerves skittering along his spine. "I—"

He trails off for a moment, taking a sip of his wine and then letting his eyes roam over every inch of her, admiring the relaxed v-neck and cotton leggings she'd chosen for comfort, the small pony tail at the nape of her neck (she's cut it short again, and while he misses running his fingers through her long hair, he can't help but enjoy it at this length as well because it reminds him of how she'd looked the first time he'd fallen in love with her in this realm), all the way down to her bare toes tucked between the cushions of the couch to keep them warm. She's so beautiful it makes his heart ache in his chest.

"Leaving," Robin starts again, trying to put into words everything he's feeling, in a way she will understand, but then he supposes that's what those letters are for anyway, so he just speaks straight from the heart, "was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Worse, somehow, even than losing Marian the first time." And that's hard for him to admit. He'd loved his wife deeply and losing her so shortly after Roland's birth had been horrible. But Regina is his soulmate and he loves her in a way he's never loved anyone before. "It was awful because even though I believed she had returned to me and that leaving was the only way to save her life a second time, my heart belonged to you, and it felt like I was being split in two."

They've talked about all of this before, had cried and screamed, fought and made up. But he wants her to truly understand the struggle he'd gone through, what she means to him, and Robin feels this is the best way he knows how to show her. She's silent beside him, watching him carefully, but her hand reaches out and grips his, squeezing his fingers reassuringly.

Bringing their joined hands to his lips, Robin places a light kiss to her knuckles before continuing. "And I missed you so much, it was like a cloud hanging over me. I wanted to make it work, to be better for Marian, for Roland, but I couldn't get you out of my mind. My heart. And I couldn't contact you, no matter how much I ached to. I can't tell you the number of times I started to dial your number, how often my finger hovered over that button." His thumb moves in slow passes back and forth over the side of her hand and just the feel of her soft skin beneath the pad of his finger is comforting. "But I knew if I heard your voice, I'd never be able to do what I thought I was supposed to."

"Robin," she interrupts, setting her wine glass aside and scooting closer to him until their knees are touching and she can reach out to scratch her fingers at the back of his skull in a gesture of solace, "why are you telling me all of this now? We've discussed this. It's behind us. We're happy…"

There's just enough hesitance at the end of her statement that Robin rushes to assure her, "We are. Gloriously so. I've never been as happy as I am with you and the boys and Robin."

"Then why—"

"Because you deserve to see them. To read what's written on those pages. Because I couldn't talk to you during those endless weeks but I could write to you, could put down what I was feeling on paper, how much I missed you, how desperately I wished circumstances had been different." He takes a breath, bringing his free hand up to cup her cheek. "How in love with you I was and always would be. It's all in there," Robin says, nodding toward the stack of letters in her lap. "Every thought of you I had during our time apart and I've finally found the courage to give them to you. I thought you should have them, as a reminder that I never truly gave up on us."

She's speechless. Staring at him with wide eyes and he can see the way they glisten in the flickering firelight. She's always been so good at controlling her emotions, never letting anyone see her as weak or too vulnerable. Everyone but him, that is.

Blinking rapidly to stem her tears before they have a chance to fall, her eyes drop to the pile of letters, and she shakes her head as she looks at them, strumming her thumb over the edges, and then back to Robin. "But there's got to be—"

"Fifty-six of them," Robin answers before she can even fully get her statement out, reading her thoughts as usual. "I wrote you a letter every single day that we were apart and kept them all, not sure if I would ever see you again."

They're both silent for another few seconds, Regina looking at him with that stunned expression before she chuckles wetly and leans forward, capturing his lips with her own. Robin angles his mouth over hers, deepening the kiss as she hums in the back of her throat and teases her tongue over his before pulling back and resting her forehead against his. "I love you."

"I love you too. Always. I hope those letters convey the depth of my feelings for you."

Regina kisses him again before twisting and readjusting herself so that she can lay her head on Robin's shoulder as they each stretch out. Then she unfurls the bow binding the letters together, reaching for the first one and unfolding it to read through his words. Robin's arm wraps around her shoulders and he places a light kiss to the crown of her head as he draws her in closer, perfectly content to spend the rest of his life in just this position.

A crackling fire to keep them warm and the love of his life in his arms.


End file.
